2024 PGA Tour Szn Preview (sort of, mostly just thoughts) That Nobody Asked For
The 2024 PGA Tour Szn opens up tomorrow (Thursday Jan 4) in Kapalua, Hawaii with The Sentry Open at the beautiful and mouth watering Plantation Course. I guess they don’t call it the Tournament of Champions anymore, they’ll leave that tournament name for the legendary squash event that takes place in Grand Central Station every January. The last two tournament champions do not play on the PGA Tour anymore. They play over at that LIV golf league that you can catch for a few hours on the CW Network. Wait, what’s the CW network?
A lot of #golfmedia is down on the PGA Tour product at the moment, yet they will of course persist in covering the week to week circus of its members. I tend to agree in many realms of that conversation. There are certainly things to complain about. The issue with commercial advertisements are getting a lot of attention right now- just ask the guys over @nolayingup and the always quaffed Brandel Chamblee. But, I am easy to please and am excited to follow leaderboards that “matter” and catch some replays on that silly Golf Channel.
Here are some golfy things/predictions to think about as we are midway through week one of 2024, when all I can do is roll putts on a rug and convince myself I can keep a drive in the fairway:
Sungjae Im is coming. Hard. He has been in the lab all fall at those picturesque driving ranges in Korea just perfecting that butter smooth move with the slow takeaway and soft smile. He is a delightful follow on social media.
Also, did you know he’s the only player on the Tour that has a last name ending in I? Fun stuff.
Keith Mitchell continues to be so swagalicious, and I hope his game matches the threads he struts out. The visor is always flawless. The sweaters make we want to nestle my little cheek on his shoulder and wish him good luck. We all know Keith can absolutely mash the ball off the tee. But let’s make some putts, let’s hit some more greens in reg. In 2023, he ranked 160th in strokes gained approach to the green, 121st in SG approach to green, and 85th SG putting. Meanwhile, he 7th in SG off the tee. Let’s balance those stats out! Yeah, I got a 3.75 in intro to stats back in 2017.
Jon Rahm will not win a golf tournament this year. But maybe his team will! Professional Team golf woooooo!
Xander Schauffele will win one golf tournament. Exactly one, no more, and no majors. He is the poster boy for the milktoast athlete. He kind of looks like a big blob of khaki and his pants are too big for his body. But he sure can whack it and I wish him luck in proving my prediction true.
Wyndham Clark’s name is funny to say out loud. Can you imagine being named Wyndham? I predict Mr. Clark (Wyndham) will not win a golf tournament this year.
I think Tommy Fleetwood will get a really big haircut and then win a Major. Time machine activated!
Rick the Tick Fowler will still be carrying the same water bottle in between shots, and if we see that he isn’t, don’t bet on him cause he’s probably all out of whack.
I really like all these guys that are dropping Nike as a clothing sponsor. Give me more cashmere sweaters. Give me tailored pants and some more vests. Give me less horizontal and diagonal blocks of mismatching primary colors with nike swooshes fighting for space.
There will be carnage at Pinehurst during the US Open. The winning score will be above par.
At least one Major will have a Monday finish due to poor weather. Bring on the PTO days!
I’ve got my eye on Adrien Dumont de Chassart. The Belgian rookie boasts impressive stats through his play on the Korn Ferry Tour. He’s got three guaranteed starts on the West Coast swing that give him a chance to earn more time on the Tour. Remember the name.
I don’t pretend to understand all the PIF drama around agreements on which Private Equity firm is going to pump money into the Tour once we all accept everyone is in bed with the Saudis. But I do know there will be continued controversy. How’s that for a hot take. Let’s see if they push back their deadline again.
I’d like to throw my hat in the ring as a concerned citizen to mediate these closed door discussions. I have the peoples best interest in mind!
We haven’t even talked about Mr. Happy Feet Scottie Scheffler yet. He’ll be just fine.
Rory will win the Fed Ex Cup.
Here are some Major winner predictions. I’m doing this in two parts. The “chalk” picks that you might see on other season previews, and then the “wacky” picks that won’t happen, but give me the same thrill of a 15 leg parlay that hasn’t lost yet.
“Chalk Picks”
Masters: Rory McIlroy
PGA Championship: Tommy Fleetwood
US Open: Viktor Hovland
The Open: Sungjae Im :)
“Wacky Picks”
Masters: Tiger Woods
PGA Championship: Tiger Woods
US Open: Tiger Woods
The Open: Tiger Woods
Just kidding. Yeah, no way Tiger can pull off the calendar slam. Right? No way.
I’m actually not a big sucker for Tiger mania. I love Tiger. He’s awesome. Watching him win the Masters in 2019 was one of the greatest sports watching experiences of my life. Maybe it was because I was massively hungover after a weekend of college galivanting and Mr. Woods’ triumph provided me the dopamine I needed to get out of bed on Monday morning. Thanks, Tiger. But I’m not going to sit here and spout oddly erotic comments about Mr. Woods like some of the other internet slobberers.
So, I’ll say it if nobody else will. Tiger will not win a golf tournament in the 2024 szn. Let’s see if he can even qualify for the US Open without one of those special invites. Nonetheless, it is good for golf to have him in the mix blah blah blah.
“My Actual Wacky Picks”
Masters: Tom Kim (the people’s champion)
PGA Championship: Akshay Bhatia (beginners luck)
US Open: Tom Hoge (machine)
The Open: Tyrell Hatton (by pure force of will and intimidation)
If you made it this far, thank you for reading this drivel. Always more to come!
Stay curious.
