THE PLAYER (not a typo)

Scottie was THE PLAYER at THE PLAYERS. My lord. What a fun tournament. It was just what the doctor ordered and all golf fans can shut the fuck up for a few days and bask in this sweetness as the siren of The Masters beckons. This one felt different than the last 11 events of the ‘24 szn, and I guess that was by design? Mr. Monahan, any thoughts? I was sucked into the tv all weekend, almost to a fault. But if I hadn’t watched so much I would be ill equipped to spout some nonsense in the words below. On that note, please enjoy. 

I like Mike Tirico. The man seemingly slid his way into this golf role for NBC and he’s getting the job done. Mr. NBC has the Olympics, SNF, the Triple Crown Races, and now NBC’s big golf tournaments on his desk. The man delivers. He is an iconic voice of the last 20 years and it will be interesting to see if he falls under scrutiny as more eyeballs and ears are on him. I think he’ll stay in the category of “no news is good news” and will casually ride off into the sunset as one of the best ever. 

Wyndham Clark hit the worst shot of the year while playing #17 on Saturday. Just a chunker that splashed and woke up some fish in the middle of the lake/pond that were trying to catch a nap with all the ruckus up above. He lost the tournament right there in my book. Should’ve packed up his clubs and went home, would have saved a lot of drama on Sunday. Just kidding, Wyndham, I delighted in your Sunday performance. 

Xander disappoints once again. On my ‘24 szn preview I stuck my neck way out there and said, “Xander Schauffele will win one golf tournament. Exactly one, no more, and no majors. He is the poster boy for the milktoast athlete. He kind of looks like a big blob of khaki and his pants are too big for his body. But he sure can whack it and I wish him luck in proving my prediction true.” Welp, he’ll have to look elsewhere for that win. He might be an elite choke artist. This guy had to make pars and maybe one birdie down the stretch. He had only made one bogey (albeit a double on Friday) all week, and then he had three on Sunday including two on 14 and 15 that essentially buried him in a bunker. He spent so much time in bunkers and in the thick stuff around the green, and the announcers lauded his scrambling ability all week. Sure, that's honorable, the man got up and down more times than I hit a fairway last year. But, Mr. Scott Scheffler was striping straight balls at pins all day, keep up Xander. It’s a shame that weird looking zip up polo he wears doesn’t have a taller collar, he could’ve just turtled inside of it and avoided facing the music. 

Ludvig Aberg was professionally lurking on this leaderboard all weekend. Watching this dude play golf is like watching a seal swim. Every time they cut to him he was either flushing an iron like a robot or showing the deftest of touch around and on the green. The man is going to show up at a tournament with some European Supermodel at his waist and it’ll be all over for the rest of the tour. Pencil Ludvig in for a Top 10 in every major this year and at least two wins, somewhere. 

On Sunday, Wyndham Clark hit one of the nastiest bunker shots I’ve ever seen on 11 before making the putt to get to 1 back after bogeying 10. A 30 yard bunker shot to a short sided pin gave him one option for success, and he took it. Somehow hitting a fierce spinner that carried and checked perfectly. Bravo. More on Clark later. 

It was kind of funny watching Nate Lashley play along Scottie. Well, I actually didn’t see him hit a shot all day. But he was playing along Scottie. It was kind of like seeing a show dog ready for a competition but his owner also owns a goofy yellow lab with three tennis balls in its mouth. All respect to Nate Lashley for putting himself in one of the final groups on Sunday, of course. 

Brian Harman is doing this for all the 5’6-5’8ers out there. What a story. I wonder what his height says on his drivers license. This is a story for another time but myself and a coalition of fellow #shortkings all discovered, commiserated, and declared we were 5’7, at least according to our drivers lecense. But when the rubber met the road and a measuring tape appeared, we all fell in the 5’6 range. Anyways, Brian is fun to watch because of his stature and the way he attacks the golf course. Also, good on the broadcast for cutting to Harmans shots as he’s about halfway through his pre shot look routine. Whenever they didn’t, it was a tough watch. Just hit the dang ball!

I love seeing large birds hang out on the edge of the water.

Like this one that couldn’t give less of a shit about Scottie’s tee shot on 17:

That thing has no idea that a golf tournament is going on. Ignorance is piss. 

Xander’s shot on 12 was V impressive. He drove the green on the short par 4 and his ball zipped across the green and came to rest against a rough bumper. All week we had seen balls skitter across greens and come to rest against two inch tall rough. And all week the announcers chastised players for putting their balls in that spot. Xander made them tickle with excitement and this shot should’ve propelled him, but nah.

The 14th hole is so tricky looking. Both Wyndham and Xander wiped their drives right. But I can’t blame ‘em. You have so much going on off the tee. A strip of water left, a strip of sand splitting that water and a fairway that slithers from right to left. Then the fairway ends in another bunker leaving virtually only one place for your second shot to go, the green. The rough looked thick af where Xander and Clark found their balls.

Here’s what Xander did to it.

Before all these fun events happened, Joel Dahmen finished the tournament T11 after shooting a 67-68 on the weekend. After the whole “Full Swing” situation where perhaps a little too much of his personal life was aired to everyone and anyone with a netflix account, this was great to see. Keep it up Joel, everyone with a soul is rooting for you. 

Matt Fitzpatrick made a lot of coin on the back 9. Birdies on 16, 17, and 18 helped him leapfrog a couple stumblers and also put a little over 400,000 extra dollhairs in his pocketá. I like watching Matt play, although he is so rigid and sterile. 

I had an interesting Sunday Watch Sesh. I watched early on ESPN+ and then stuck with it on NBC until about 5 o’clock when I was beckoned to a dinner far away from my television. Scottie was on the 18th hole but I am nothing but punctual, so I made sure the event was being recorded and set off. I would be lying if my original plan was to fully go Playoff Lebron Mode (Zero-Dark-30-23) and ignore the computer box in my pocket whilst at dinner. I tried to check the leaderboard, but coincidentally the service in the ‘staurant was horrid and I conceded my fate. I would block out the noise and watch the final holes later, in ignorance of the result. It worked out great btw. 

Although, I kinda knew what the hell was going to happen. I was incredibly concerned on Friday and Saturday about Scottie’s neck injury. I thought he was going to DQ himself and rest on his laurels from the week before. We all would still remember how great he was and pick him to win The Masters. But no. The guy stuck with the leaders and lingered just close enough through Saturday that everyone had an inkling he could make a run. It’s kind of like when I have the sniffles, I just go through my day and usually by about 2 o’clock I feel perfectly fine.

Let’s check some stats for the week: Scottie was first in driving accuracy for the week, 1st in SG off the tee, 13/17 in scrambling (a laughable sample size cause he didn’t have to scramble much!). He hit 55/72 greens in regulation, made 1 eagle, 22 birdies, 45 pars, and 4 bogeys. Insanity. Who thinks I will make 22 birdies this year? Sound off in the comments :/

I’m not a stats guy, but when you put it like that, it’s so neat. I really just enjoy watching this guy play golf because it is so aspirational. I, as a 25 year old person, want to be like Scottie Scheffler. He does it the right way. People say he doesn’t look like he is having the most “fun” out there. I disagree. His swing is so fun. The leg sweeps and the funny facial expressions. He makes it look so goddam easy I just know I am going to go nuts next time I try to be like him (which’ll be the next time I hit a ball). 

He made every putt he needed to make (except 13, but obviously he didn’t even need to make it). He was allergic to missing greens down the stretch. He kept himself out of trouble by not sniffing a bogey and you just know that his name creeping up the leaderboard scared the shit out of Wyndham and Xander. Those guys don’t have the chops. They don’t now and they might never. Wyndham got the US Open win, and he has been right there. But he looked vulnerable today. He looked hot under the collar and scared to make a bad swing, which he did often. 

The ending was bananas. Theatre like you go and see in the West End of London (shoutout Jon VA). Scottie finished his round at -20. Harman couldn’t birdie the 18th to tie. Xander and Wyndham both had a fighting chance. Xander kind of made a mess of the hole after driving it through the fairway on the right which necessitated an unpredictable shot out of the pine straw. Wyndham inexplicably hit an iron off the tee leaving him about 163 to the pin which proved to be a difficult distance. Although he gave himself a putt, he probably could have made it easier on himself. Anways, Scottie is warming up on the range for a possible playoff when Wyndham’s putt earned the #hardestlipoutever award. Congrats to Wyndham. Congrats to Scottie, go kiss your wife.

I could talk Scottie all day. But I won’t. I’ll only say that the game of golf needed this victor and this tournament at this exact moment in time. We’ve got some snoozers in Tampa and Texas the next three weeks, but then we’re going to Augusta, GA. And we all know what that means. 

Stay Curious Scottie.