Pats Mayeday, Jets Mayday
What a Tuesday. The S&P 500 rose a full percent, Kamala Harris joined Howard Stern on the radio waves, Robert Saleh got axed by the former US Ambassador to the United Kingdom, the NHL season kicked off, Hurricane Milton is bearing down on the Florida coast, Drake Maye got a job promotion, and Brazil decided to reinstate Elon Musk’s X. We could go a lot of different ways here, but I’m just gonna stick to what I know, the AFC East.
News broke this morning that the New York Jets had fired Head Coach Robert Saleh. Woah, sweet. As a Pats fan, I yearn for eternal chaos and distress in the Jets organization. And for the last two years, that possibility has looked less likely. Buuuuuuut, the Jets will ALWAYS regress to their mean of mediocrity and dread.
Saleh is a fluffer. He loves himself, he loves the camera, and he loves saying weird stuff.
Here are some fun things he said throughout his years as the Head Coach of the New York Jets:
“If you ain’t got no haters, you ain’t poppin.”
“We have a lot of faith in Zach.”
“Through these first six weeks, we’ve played a gauntlet of quarterbacks. I know we haven’t gotten all wins, but we’ve embarrassed all of them.”
A-Rodg was never going to put up with Saleh and his shiny head. I don’t know who Rodgers will put up with, except a doormat he can step on and over and mash his feet into. Nathaniel Hackett is the silly little brother that parrots anything Rodgers says, but he could never be a head coach. I’m just hearing that they’re going with their backwards hat wearing juicehead DC, Jeff Ulbrich, as Interim HC. I could say a lot of unpleasant things about this guy, but they have no basis in fact. If Woody Johnson (former US Ambassador to the United Kingdom) had a lack of trust in Saleh, why not fire him last season? If Aaron Rodgers hadn’t snapped his achilles like a rubber band, Saleh would have lost his job a year ago. I think the Jets have a lot of inherent problems. But the biggest of them all is Aaron Rodgers. He has won his last playoff game in the league and the Jets will not make the playoffs this year.
Ok, now for the fun stuff. The New England Patriots are terrible. I love it. I have very little experience being a fan of a horrible team (shit eating grin/shrug). But I kinda like it, everyone needs a vacation. This past Sunday for example, I snuck out to play golf, instead of watching the Pats get robbed in the closing minutes against the decaying Dolphins. Jacoby Brissett was simply not getting it done. At least he stayed healthy, I think that's a win for him, genuinely. Have you seen the Patriots offensive line? But like Kyle famously said, “Please just read the stats!”
‘Coby ranks last in pass yards and completion percentage by any QB that has started 5 games. He ranked 32nd among QB’s in yards per attempt with 5.2 (only .8 worse than Rodgers btw). And he has only thrown 2 touchdown passes and won one game.
This locker room mutiny business that was floating in the clouds last week might’ve had some teeth if the news of Drake Maye’s promotion hadn’t dropped today. It was probably an easy decision for Mayo and I think the timing is perfect. (whispers: perfect distraction from the Jabrill Peppers situation) Everyone else is doing it. Jayden Daniels looks like an MVP, Bo Nix has impressed (somewhat), Caleb Williams is 3-2. Now it’s Drake’s turn to take over and lead his team. The Pats won’t beat the Texans this weekend, but they’ve actually got a pretty easy schedule from here on out. I still feel great about my u4.5 wins bet. But they play the Jags, Titans, Bears, Colts, and then the Dolphins and Jets again. We could be looking at a few wins there. I just want Drake to stay healthy and gain momentum in his first stretch at the helm. Let’s regroup in the Spring, draft Travis Hunter or a circus freak of an O lineman, watch the Jets crumble to pieces, and battle in a wide open division next year.
