Hurricane Lee and Is Vivek a Vegan?

I’m back, I never left, blah blah blah. I have so much to write about that my fingertips are about to melt into the keyboard. But while I still have control of my extremities I will spew out some quick hitter thoughts and takes from my brain.

Firstly, Tom Brady was back in Foxborough. I have to be honest with my thousands of readers. The fire that once burned inside me for Tom Brady and professional sports in general has dwindled over the last few years. It is still smoldering, just not a ripping flame. Which I think is healthy for my lifestyle as a whole. Anyways, it was great to see Tom in a pats jersey on a Sunday afternoon. Although he does have sort of a plastic face thing going on and he did look goofy in that jersey without pads on. But I’m still happy for him, his jawline, and whichever model is going to be wrapped around him next. 

Coach Prime seems like he’s having a great time out in Boulder, I wish him continued success and maybe a few mild controversies to keep the casual fan engaged. 

Aaron Rodgers is on my fantasy team(s). I am ashamed. But I zigged, when I usually zag. I watched Hard Knocks and looked for every oppurtunity to make fun of the J-E-T-S, which there were many. Those folks at HBO were slurping the shit out of Rodgers for the last month. But that man can sling a football. He’ll be a nice trade piece in about 4 weeks.

It’s hurricane season. Hurricane Lee is getting frisky out in the Atlantic. Sort of near the Sargasso Sea. It’s due to make things interesting in Bermuda by mid week and could affect the northeast coast of the US by the weekend. Lee’s wind is blowing up to 120mph, but the storm is supposed to get larger and weaken as it moves northward. It will cut a wide swath but not pack much of a punch. Keep yourself informed. Look at the models.

Burning Man sounds stupid. I don’t want to turn away too many of my readers but have you ever heard good news about this thing? People were stranded and stuck in the mud? How many people have died and were not reported? SOMEBODY ANSWER ME!!!!

Jill and Joe Biden are in the news for very different reasons. Jill is vidded up (has covid). Please get well soon.

Apparently Joe has a nasty habit of using fake names in emails. #relateable

I also came across this quote that got me out of my seat a little bit. “In 2020, Obama had famously warned fellow Democrats , ‘“Don’t underestimate Joe’s ability to f— things up.”’ Now that quote comes from a big ole game of political puppet telephone, but who cares. Come on Joe, don’t confuse yourselves with more lies to keep track of. 

That leads us into a quick conversation about the 2024 election. I know I am not alone when I say that we are #fucked. Everyone in the running sucks at life and talking to other humans. Is anything real? I’ve been brewing up a big problem with salesmen recently and I have a few points to make in a later blog. But these folks are snake oil salesmen battling it out to see who can fool the most people. For now, let's run through a few of these morons: 

Mike Pence makes my skin want to fall off of my body. He’s a massive god guy who can’t stop telling the world about the time he gave his body, mind, soul, and presumed pedophilic tendencies to god. *there is no basis to his pedophilia, but I have a hunch* 

I think Chris Christie will cry and scream at some point on national television in the next year. He is so fragile. Remember that time he shut down the beaches in Jersey during covid and then went and chilled out there by himself? I sure do, everybody loved it. 

Vivek Ramaswamy is the hot new ticket. Everyone wants a piece of his feeble frame and stunningly average wit. Whenever he starts jabbering about TRUTH and dons that ugly hat, I just want to make the obvious joke and scream “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH”. Maybe he can handle it though. Do you think he is a vegan?*Editors note* After a cursory google search it turns out that Vivek is a vegetarian. I will be monitoring this situation to see if he goes full veg.

Check out these koozies Vivek is slinging on his campaign site. $17.00????? I’ll take 5 please and thank you.

I wish Ronny “Bid D” Desantis could run against himself. Now I don’t know enough about his flip flopping policies or whatever to make that make sense, but I just like the idea of him running against himself. I’m sure he’d find something to argue about. Speaking of merch, this hat makes me giddy.

NFL Football is back. What a sloppy Sunday of football. Dropped passes, false starts, lost bets, and a snoozer of a SNF game on NBC. What more could you want? Pats almost snuck out a win. Boutte’s gotta get those feet in bounds and Mac needs to put some mustard on those game defining passes.

Always more to come. Stay curious.